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30 September 2009 @ 12:32 am
Meh....angsty piece I wrote tonight...  
Yeah well....I just want somewhere to keep this cos even though I'm not too impressed with what it means I like the writing...

He had always known that this heart breaking moment would occur. That was why he had the rule. The only one he ever lived by. Don’t get close to anyone. But then she’d come along and with her warm smile and those eyes that said a thousand things that her lips never could and he had fallen. They’d never even spoken the words but he knew that somehow deep down she must know just how he felt about her.

He cursed himself for not finding these feelings sooner, then maybe they might have had a chance. But he hadn’t wanted to start anything that would have to end before it had truly gotten off the ground. He could see her pain but he knew that the pain that she would have felt if they had been together would worse.

He managed to keep it together until the farewell and that stupid video. The picture of her at the ball that had changed everything. That was the moment he knew for sure that was he was feeling was real. Even when he’d been packing away all the little things that reminded him of her he’d been ok. Despite the fact that he knew he was packing away the best part of his life he’d managed to do it without breaking. But seeing her with tears rolling down her cheek was breaking his heart into a million tiny pieces. He wanted to be sat next to her, rather than opposite her, he wanted to be holding her close, telling her just how much he loved her and how much she had turned his life around.

And now she was inches away from him and he knew this was it. This was the last time he would ever see her. And he knew his sister was going to say something. He just never thought she’d go for those words. Why tell the girl that he loves that he knows she feels the same in the last moments they’ll have together. She just looks over at him and say so… and he knows she wants an answers but he knows that he can’t tell her. Cos that will hurt. And he doesn’t want that on his conscience. She needs to forget about him, to put him out of her mind. A clean break he guesses the term would be. So he shrugs his shoulders as his heart begins to break once more. And he sees the pain in her eyes as he does it but he has no choice. He can’t go declaring his love for her when there is no future for them. So he closes his eyes as she says good-bye and turns to walk to her car. He hears her voice fading away and the car pulling away. He says the words over and over in his head, I love you, I honestly love you. And as a single tear falls down his cheek he see her car turn round the corner out of his life forever.
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