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01 January 2011 @ 10:08 pm
So 2010 was actually pretty shite if I'm honest....  
So as it’s New Years I guess I got to thinking about the year that I’ve just had. To be honest a lot of it has been hard. I’ve felt lost and alone for a lot of it.I've been drained emotionally by a jackass and I think I've ruined things with the guy I was really wanting to be with. But looking back I can see what this year has done for me and so I wanted to share with you all the things I have learnt this year.

1) That sometimes the things you want aren’t right for you. This has been one of my biggest lessons if I’m honest. I got to the point that I wanted something so badly that I refused to see just how bad it would be for me. I trusted in myself more than I should have. I told myself that I was justified to want what I did. I told myself that it wouldn’t hurt. That it was my time to experience the things that so many others had.

2) That sometimes they’re not worth your pain. I spent hours this year agonising over a guy that really wasn’t worth it. I wanted him and he wanted me back or so I thought. But what he really wanted were the games that we played. And I really did agonise over him. I wanted things to work with him because I was tired of being lonely. But in the end I realised I was more alone than before hand because I was turning away from all my friends. I realised that I had removed myself from my circle of friends because I was worried about them trying to stop things between him and me.

3) That sometimes it’s better to just walk away. When I’d tried everything I could to try and make it work I realised that it never would because it wasn’t right for me. It was my test, it was my moment to prove that I would do what I had promised to do. And although I failed some of the test in the end I passed it. In the end I walked away and let go of all the pain and the angst.

4) You should never compromise who you are for someone else. The minute that someone asks you to change who you are, run. When they want to fundamentally change you as a person then they are the wrong person for you. If they can’t accept you for the person you are then they don’t deserve to have you in their life.

5) Things are never as bad as they seem. No matter how low you get, how down you feel and how much you just want to give up there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Our trials only last a short time and they last as long as we need them to. As much as we hate them we learn so much through our trials. There is always an end to out trials, once we have learned all that we need to and once we have proven ourselves.

6) You are never alone. Even at your lowest moment, when you feel like no one cares there are always people around you ready to lift you up and make you feel good again. This may be friends or family or our amazing Saviour. Even when you turn your back on them and walk away from them they will be there when you need them. All it takes is you. You just need to tell them that you are struggling and need them they will help you.

7) Sometimes, when you least expect it miracles happen. These miracles could be big or small but they never happen when you want them to. They happen when you need them to. They happen at moments that you don’t think they will because well, that’s life. It happens like that. They can be the simplest of things, a hug, a smile or they can be massive things but these miracles are incredible, testimony-strengthening moments that you will never forget.

8) That when you open yourself up to the possibility of your dreams, wishes and desires coming true they start to. You can dream, hope, wish and desire all you want. BUT you need to believe it can happen. You need to have faith. I guess in many ways you need to let The Lord do his work in his time and learn that amazing things can happen if you open yourself up to them. Don’t be afraid of getting your wish come true. After all, you wished for it. Be happy when things that you want happen. Just believe, have faith, be patience and trust that if they are meant to happen then The Lord will help them happen.
Current Mood: crappycrappy
Current Music: I Want It That Way